| Eco-guilt driving green parents crazy |
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| posted Feb 18, 2008 11:30:02 AM | To All |
As if there aren't enough things to worry about when being a parent, this article at the International Herald Tribune sheds some light on the anxiety and guilt that sometimes takes over the lives of green parents, especially eco-conscious moms:
"Perhaps not since the days of "dishpan hands" has the household been so all-consuming - only instead of gleaming floors and sparkling dishes, the obsession is on contact florescent light bulbs, buying in bulk and installing "smart" power strips that automatically shut down electricity to the toaster, the espresso machine, the microwave, the Xboxes, the televisions and laptops, the cellphone chargers and DVD player, when not in use.
"It's like eating too many brownies one day and then jogging extra the next," said Kimberly Danek Pinkson, 38, the founder of the EcoMom Alliance, speaking of her own attempt to curb eco-guilt through carbon offsets for air travel."
Also, this post on Treehugger mentions some of the sites that grief-stricken green parents visit, either to relate with others like themselves (the Eco Mom Alliance), or to console themselves with some uplifting news (Eco Therapy News).
At first I didn't take it too seriously, but I admit, at times I've not been too proud of my consumption choices and feel bad when I succumb to convenience. Also, I sometimes feel unhappy when my siblings choose to be wasteful.
What about you? Do you "suffer" from eco guilt or anxiety?Edited by: GranolaJoe on Feb 18, 2008 11:36:12 AM |
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"We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect." -Aldo Leopold
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| Eco-guilt driving green parents crazy |
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| posted Feb 24, 2008 11:16:30 PM | To All |
I think this is a great thread as I am sure many will relate to it.
In this day and age where our lives are not always as balanced as we would like them to be (by default due to fast pace and the hustle and bustle in our current society), we may find ourselves caving into convenience vs. eco-friendly, or in moment of unconscious behavior.
Guilt does not serve a positive purpose unless we take a moment to understand where our feelings of guilt are coming from and how you can avoid acting out of alignment with your values in the future. What was going on in your mind at the time? What was happening and how did you feel while you were doing it? If you could avoid committing that act, or act differently, what would you do next time, and how would you do it? If it's within your control then make a commitment to make a plan to change, then stick with that plan. Most important, we need to show ourselves love and compassion through it all, be open and honest (talk about your feelings, yes, for sure!), and that we continue to move forward.
One simple way we can all make a big difference that I find is often over looked too often is help increase eco-awareness in our communities. It's something we can all do each and every day with little effort that will produce great results. We can do this not only by living by example, but by having the nerve to start conversations about it with as many people we possibly can (ask a friend or co worker what they know or think about organics, and the commercial farming industry), or by doing things as as simple as leaving a copy of Yoga Journal or Mother Earth News "by accident" in your local doctor's office.
When you think about it, it really wasn't all that long ago eco-friendly people in the U.S. were a minority. I'm not certain we can say that this is no longer the case, and over the last five years there has appeared to be a dramatic increase in our culture's eco-awareness over all, however I can't help but think about how many people still need to be enlightened on the matter. Not very long ago a lot of folks I personally knew thought being eco-friendly only involved recycling their trash and carpooling, or thought global warming wasn't really something to worry about "yet" (well, not until I had a talk with them that is.  ) When I think about how many people today fail to do the bare minimum because they don't have a caring friend or co-worker like you or myself to help educate them, or about the thousands of people living in commercial farming and fishing communties and their new generations of farmers, and the many others whose lives have revolved around standard industry, I realize we still have a long way to go. Here it takes many steps for an individual to make the switch from standard living to 100% eco-friendly living, yet many haven't even taken the first step. Being aware of all of this does help me keep my own guilt in perspective, and to realize that it is very important that as a society we support and assist one another in this movement.
The bottom line is we all just have to do the best we can every day and each day, and to support and to help one another.
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. " - Dalai LamaEdited by: Joy Jackson, Life & Wellness Coach on Feb 24, 2008 11:42:52 PM |
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Joy Jackson, Fitness and Lifestyle Coach
piceanjoy@gmail.com
www.joyjackson.net
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| Eco-guilt driving green parents crazy |
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| posted Feb 25, 2008 9:51:55 AM | To All |
Thanks for putting it in such an awesome way Joy 
I certainly don't let my guilt overwhelm me. It's easy to start feeling guilty about making less-than-eco-friendly decisions from time to time, but it isn't productive.
It's better to take a look at the situation you were in when you weren't able to make the environmentally conscious choice, and take steps to be better prepared the next time.
Little things like knowing that you need a bag to take your groceries home because you forgot your reusable one, and just making sure you have it with you the next time. Accidentally threw out something that was definitely recycleable? Make a note of it and remember that particular container type makes its way to the recycling bin when the next one gets used.
Also, I give myself some room because I'm not in a position where I can be 100% eco-friendly. Right now, my fiancee and I would love to own a hybrid vehicle, but we need to save for our wedding this summer and our first living space together. So we've done the next best thing and sold my car so I could commute by bike and bus. And she's now taking the light rail/metro to work so we only drive the car for errands at night or on the weekends. Also, we walk to get our groceries whenever possible.
Even with these little steps, I feel we are both making a pretty big difference, and the fact that our life is very happy and fulfilling as a result gives us a lot to talk to friends who aren't making eco-conscious choices yet. By setting an example and continuing to make changes, we show others that it isn't really as hard as it seems, and there's a constant rewarding feeling every day that you are reducing your impact on the Earth. |
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"We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect." -Aldo Leopold
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| Eco-guilt driving green parents crazy |
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| posted Jun 19, 2008 2:10:59 PM | To All |
I absolutely suffer from from eco guilt sometimes......my big thing? paper plates and swiffer dusters and floor cloths. I challenged myself to not replace the paper plates when we ran out one time and balked at the amount of dishes my family left for me to do because of it. I did just read an article where a mother got tired of all of the dishes her family was using all of the time, but she didn't want to resort to paper plates or using the dishwasher a lot. Her solution was to get everyone their own plate and cup and when that person used it, they had to wash it right away, or they wouuldn't have anything to eat off of. I am seriously thinking about doing that.
I did also buy a fabric floor swiffer, with two replacements incase one is dirty, to keep me from using the disposable kind, but I still get cravings to use them once in awhile! LOL
I freak out thinking about how long those things will be sitting in a landfill and okay, I'm not using a whole bunch, but when you combine them all from everyone using them, it adds up. Okay, I'm starting to get anxiety just talking about it.....I have to go clean something now........
I also saw where you mentioned that maybe your siblings aren't making the same choices you are and I am in the same situation. My mother used to recycle, but it got to be "too much trouble" and she stopped. I look twice at everything I give her and if it's able to be recycled and I know she's going to throw it away, like a cardboard box, magazine, or plastic bag, I take it back from her before I leave. I know I can't prevent her from throwing everything away, but I'm doing what I can.
I'm really trying to be as conscience as possible, but it gets overwhelming and sometimes takes more energy and discipline than I have. |
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| Eco-guilt driving green parents crazy |
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| posted Aug 6, 2008 4:07:19 PM | To All |
First, I want to Thank Joy for her words. They really hit home with me. I have recently made a point to become more Green everyday. I wasn't great but I thought I was doing somethings right. It was the things I really did badly I gave myself a hard time about.
As far as family goes, I grew up in South Dakota and my family still lives there. I was talking to my mom about becoming greener and she was telling me that the waste management company there won't take certain items because it's too much of a bother and they can't make any money by recycling those things. The city was basically told that the citizens feel lucky they take what they do because of their bottom line. These are the attitudes we REALLY need to change in this Country. |
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| Eco-guilt driving green parents crazy |
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| posted Aug 14, 2008 11:59:40 AM | To All |
I know this is an older thread, but it's really timely for me right now. It's back to school shopping season, which is a rough time to be a green parent.
This year I am determined to keep the shopping reasonable. In the past we tend to run out to the mall and try to get is all done as fast as possible, which results in buying more clothing then my kids will wear (which is wasteful), cheap, poorly made shoes (which wear out before they grow out), and all sorts of assorted crud that they don't need (no one needs a 20 pack of heart and pony pencils and glow in the dark erasers).
But it's really hard to be a green parent, especially as the kids get older and want the same trunkloads of junky crud that their friends have.
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| Eco-guilt driving green parents crazy |
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| posted Oct 1, 2008 6:02:48 PM | To All |
| I find a lot of times when making household purchases I have to think about how much additional cost it is to get an eco product and how much it will really help the environment. Certainly when doing major home repairs and appliance replacements I go with energy star and use CFLs and earth friendly cleaning products, recycled paper goods, reusable products (like hankies, cleaning rags, cloth and sponge menstrual products), etc. But recently I was looking for some bedding and decided against the organic cotton. Why? I decided to spend the $300 I saved shopping at my local bedding store and buying a sale product on a rainwater collection system and a compost barrel. I figured over the life of the product, about 5-7 years for my bedding sets, the water I won't use watering my lawn and garden and the trash I won't send to the landfill by using my compost will have a far greater positive impact on the environment than a single purchase of bedding. I feel good about my decision and since my husband is disabled and we have limited income, we have to make these kinds of choices all the time. I generally make a list of everything I need over the next 6-12 months and estimate how much I have to spend on the list and then prioritize those purchases that have the greatest potential for environmental impact and those things I can help the environment and save money with as well that will allow me to convert something else to eco-friendly with the savings. If you are genuinely doing everything you can, you need to let it go. Eco-guilt doesn't help you or the environment, because I have seen people guilt themselves to the point of giving up and not caring at all anymore. Feel good about the things you can do and make plans to incorporate more positive habits. Allowing yourself to feel good about what you have done will subconsciously encourage you to do more in the future. |
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