Hello,

In a world of instant everything, I find that manners are slipping away. Rather than reacting similarly, I would like to put something positive into such situations, especially traffic. Anyone have suggestions for how you deal? Thanks!

I don't know about manners per se... that's an outward expression--honest or practiced--that makes interactions more tolerable...

Traffic, though, is a great example of an opportunity for an inward look. A daily meditation. If you find that the slow lane, for instance, is intolerably slow... ask yourself why? Am I really in a hurry? I find that I "need" to pass slow cars regardless of what hurry I'm in. Every now and then I, instead of switching lanes, take a deep breath and welcome the invitation to SLOW down.

Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of ringing telephones and red traffic lights as real world meditation chimes. Imagine if we all meditated at traffic lights!

I try to look at traffic as a dance.  We are all trying to accomplish one goal: getting somewhere.  My need to get somewhere should be gracefully balanced with your need to get somewhere so that - in the end - all people who are trying to get somewhere can do so harmoniously (and safely).  If I were walking down the street and saw someone coming my direction and there wasn't room for both of us on the sidewalk, I would step aside, pause, smile at them, and then move on.  Or maybe I would take it as an opportunity to say "Good Morning", or "Hi".  The interaction would be part of a nice little dance that would leave both of us feeling positive and make our days better.

That's what I try to picture when driving, even though the experience is much more "anonymous".  It's still an interaction between people and thus an opportunity to be kind to each other.

So make someone's day - and your own - and give them the room to merge in, or to get over to that turn off that they've nearly missed.  Smile and wave, even if you think they may not be able to see it.  You will know that you did something good and kind, and your mental state will be rejuvenated.

Peace,

Bungee Monkey

It's been almost three years since I owned a car, partly by choice (for example, because of pollution, global warming and "Iraq issues") and partly because of financial issues (for example, it's so much less expensive than driving and maintaining a car). I have lived in the NW Denver metro area for 22 years and I've taken the bus to work, etc., whenever I've been able to, even when I've owned a car.

Traffic is not so much an issue, of course, because you can read or meditate or snooze or chat with others. As for compassion, I've witnessed/experienced a lot of give and take. When I see a person carrying all their earthly belongings with them, headed to a new shelter to spend the night because their time's up at the previous one, well... I feel not only compassion, but humility -- and gratefulness for what I have. 

I have left my purse on the bus three times in the past few years (yes, that's kind of duh!) and each time, it has been turned in to the RTD Lost and Found without anything missing from it. There are some very honest and compassionate people on the buses, for sure. Recently, I was taking two beautiful, brand new tablecloths to return to the store because they hadn't worked out in my house. I forgot them when I switched buses, but they were never turned in to the Lost and Found. Quite frankly, considering that I'd had my purses returned three times, I had no room to complain or feel anything but grateful that these tablecloths had apparently been found by someone who would find pleasure in them.

I feel a lot of compassion for the bus drivers who spend long days, sometimes in really hot or cold weather, rain or snow, who are almost invariably helpful and cheerful, even when they're obviously quite tired and even when bus riders are disruptive or angry because of things beyond the drivers' control.

Well, those are just a few examples. I think you get my drift! Taking the bus can provide for many spiritual experiences!

Edited by: Banyan Goddess on Dec 5, 2006 11:39:45 PM