Where's the Springboard in Your Relationship?

Learn to grow and heal in all your relationships

Relationships offer a key way in which we learn our spiritual life lessons. Self-validation, compassion, patience, trust, self worth, you name it — whatever we have signed up to learn in this lifetime, we unconsciously use relationships to explore, heal and grow. And relationships become fascinating when we consider the question, “What is it that I am trying to learn or heal by connecting with this person?”

When we begin to see relationships in this context, we start to take responsibility for what is going on in our relationship, and we come to recognize that we always have a choice to engage or disengage from energy and dynamics.

As you come to understand just what it is that you are working on, whether with an individual or with a group, you can empower yourself to do your work without the drama that often accompanies relationships. When this happens, your relationships become effortless, joyful and enjoyable. You will no longer need someone else to trigger or activate areas within yourself in order to learn and heal.

How do I know what I’m working on?

The more we look at our lives through conscious eyes, the greater clarity we have in terms of what we are here to learn. As you step into consciousness, you can glean insight into your life’s lessons in a few ways:

Keep a journal

As you go through your day, write down your emotional experiences as they occur. Note if you felt angry, frustrated, fearful, unseen, lost — whatever the experience was. Next to each entry, write down what triggered that feeling. We’re not looking for ‘whose fault it was,’ or a free-flowing diatribe about your boss or your boyfriend or your mom; we’re looking for specifics: energy dynamics and what triggered them.

So it might look like this:

  • Felt fearful. Alone on an elevator.
  • Felt frustrated and wanted to run away. At a work meeting where my suggestions weren’t being accepted.

Reflect on past relationships

Consider your past relationships: parent/child, romantic, friendships and work-related. Look for clues and keys — common experiences, recurring outcomes and themes and threads that weave through your relationships.

Focus on one energy dynamic at a time

If you have a difficult time with the two exercises above, start small and simple. Pick one energy dynamic (fear, resistance, negativity, self-worth — there’s no shortage!) to look at for a day, or a week, or even a month, and journal about how and where and in what ways that energy dynamic appears in your life.

We experience energy dynamics like fear, anger or insecurity because deep within us there is a wound that we want to heal — and healing this wound is key to our spiritual growth. That wound is wrapped up in whatever energy is triggered each time we manifest a situation to help us release and heal. We use our relationships to manifest these situations.

As you move through these processes, you might find that a particular energy dynamic appears often. When you find this, you can then begin to release the energy. Most of us are taught to repress emotions, so it isn’t until we begin to release these energies that our healing begins.

How can I easily release energy?

Releasing energy is simple. Imagine, pretend or create a clear bubble out in front of you (like a giant soap bubble) and with your intention, release the energy in question from your space into the bubble. Then send the bubble off to the edges of the universe and pop it. The energies you released return to neutral and you begin the process of healing.

As you identify the energies you are addressing through your relationships, you can then empower yourself by consciously choosing to engage or disengage from situations that in the past triggered you.

Relationships are truly fascinating. Viewing them as springboards to your life’s lessons will open up a new way of not only how you interact within your relationships but also how you create your relationships. Because once we understand what we are working on, we no longer need to create relationships full of drama, pain and angst. 

Over the course of several articles, we’ll be looking at specific dynamics within our personal relationships to help you gain even greater clarity and awareness. 

Improve your relationships with personal growth videos on GaiamTV.com.


Christine Agro is an internationally recognized clairvoyant, natural healer and spiritual teacher whose work focuses on supporting women, families, children and animals in all phases and stages of their lives. Christine has been featured in The New York Times, interviewed on radio shows around the world, and quoted in health and consumer magazines and e-zines nationwide.

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