QUIZ: Are You an Eco-Sexual?

It seems like everyone is going eco-sexual these days. The term—which describes those who will date only others of the same environmental persuasion (similar to a metrosexual but who buys organic clothing as opposed to designer clothing)—has officially hit the big time. MySpace profiles and Craigslist classifieds often feature single eco-sexuals looking for their eco-others, and greenies with a kinky side even have their own adult website. (Hybrid-driving vegans seducing other hybrid-driving vegans? That’s hot.) What’s more, a plethora of online eco-dating services with names like Vegan Passions, Earth Wise Singles, and Green Singles cater to the ever-expanding eco-sex market. Of course, you don’t have to be vegan to be eco-sexual.

Take this quiz and tally your points at the end to find out how eco you actually are.

1. What’s in your top drawer?

A. Underpants and socks (1 point)

B. Underpants and a copy of World Changing (2 points)

C. Underpants and a Secrets of Sacred Sex DVD (3 points)

2. What is climate porn?

A. A scary way to describe global warming (3 points)

B. Pornography watched in a hot room (1 point)

C. A sexy movie shot in an equatorial country (2 points)

3. Pick your dreamiest Valentine’s day:

A. Your Valentine wakes you with a Caramel Macchiato and a slice of low-fat chocolate chip banana bread from Starbuck’s (1 point)

B. Forget breakfast, you and your Valentine are staying between the organic-cotton sheets all day! (3 points)

C. Your Valentine makes you high-fiber, organic, gluten-free oatmeal with sustainably farmed maple syrup (2 points)

4. Your date buys a bottle of soda at the movie theater but the theater doesn’t recycle. You expect him/her to:

A. Tuck the bottle in his/her jacket pocket until he can find a recycling bin later in the evening (2 points)

B. Leave it—that’s what movie theater staff is for (1 point)

C. Soda? Please. Any date of yours will buy soda only if it comes in an easy-to-recycle aluminum can (3 points)

5. On a lazy Sunday morning, you’d rather be.

A. Designing a compost pile with your special someone—only four more months till summer (2 points)

B. Sleeping beside your special someone (1 point)

C. Volunteering with your special someone (3 points)

6. One of your favorite inspirational movies is:

A. Winged Migration (2 points)

B. The Day After Tomorrow (1 point)

C. Anything narrated by David Attenborough or Tilda Swinton (3 points)

7. How many kids do you want to have:

A. 1 biological (1 point)

B. 1 adopted (2 points)

C. None (3 points)

8. On your anniversary, you want:

A. A fist full of wildflowers (2 points)

B. A bouquet of roses (1 point)

C. An O2-emitting cactus that that doesn’t require watering (3 points)


Answers

1-8 points: You don’t even know what “eco” means, and what’s so sexy about wearing hemp? Stick to mainstream dating. You might want to start by renting a movie. Hey, did you see the one starring Al Gore?

9-16 points: You may not be a vegan, but you know you want someone who will turn off the lights as he or she leaves the room. Romance is important, and you need a person who loves fair-trade organic chai as much as you do.

17-24 points: You, my dear, are the reason “ecosexuals” exist. Not only will you kick to the curb a date that doesn’t live up to your strict ethical code, but you also require friends to meet the same standards. Your best match? Yourself.

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