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How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work
You’re in a relationship, and suddenly your world is flipped upside down because your significant other has been transferred at work and is moving several states away. You love him, you don’t want to date anyone else, so you decide to make long distance work. It’s tough and everyone around you keeps bringing up all the negative reasons as to why this is a bad idea. You know your relationship can take the hea,t but you need help, so here are a few tips from Eddie Carbano, relationship coach and founder of LovesAGame, to help you navigate the distance and keep your romance alive.
Step 1: Have a plan
One of the biggest mistakes is to ignore the elephant in the room. Talk about your future together. Do you see yourselves spending the rest of your lives together? If so, discuss the logistics of making that happen. Realize that compromise might have to happen. One of you will eventually have to move in order for you to stay together. The best choice may be that you both move to a different location and start a new life together. Just don’t avoid talking about it, because it won’t go away.
Step 2: Align your calendars
To keep your long-distance romance on fire, make sure to plan time to see each other as often as possible. Be sure to alternate who visits who in order to avoid making the other feel as if you're taking advantage of them. When you are together, plan fun activities so you can continue bonding and experiencing life as a couple. Avoid fights and arguments while together, and make the most of every minute. Knowing that your calendars are in sync and that you have a visit coming up can help make it easier for you both to get through the time in-between.
Step 3: Avoid jealousy
Being apart can strain even the best relationships, so really work on trusting your partner. You won’t be able to control whom they meet or whom they run into, so you need to trust that they love you and are committed to your long-distance relationship. If you don’t have good reason to dislike a new friend in his life, then avoid worrying about it. Being jealous will only strain your relationship and may force your partner to become vague about plans he may have in order to avoid a fight. Remember that you love him and you want him to have friends as part of a good, healthy social life wherever he is.
Step 4: Communicate
With all the new forms of technology out there, there is no reason for a lack of communication between long-distance couples. Make sure to talk on the phone regularly, and use e-mail and text messaging. You might even try writing a letter once in a while. Sending something hand-written can really make someone’s day and show you are thinking about them with an added personal touch.
Long-distance relationships are possible with some effort, trust and communication. Remember, when things get tough, keep the goal of staying together in mind.