How to Get Free from Jealousy

4 steps to rid yourself of envy

Jealousy is a powerful emotion. Although it's usually perceived as negative, it can also serve a purpose as it can be a strong indicator that something is wrong with a particular relationship or situation. However, you must learn to be in control of your feelings, and not the other way around. If jealousy consumes you and affects your relationships, you probably need to take a look at why this emotion keeps coming up. Here are some steps you might take to stop the negative effects of jealousy.

Step 1: Decide if you have a reason to be jealous

If you're in a relationship with someone who simply isn't as serious about the relationship as you are, you might feel some jealousy, and that's to be expected. If your partner cheats on you, or constantly flirts with other people, then jealousy is an emotion telling you that something is seriously wrong — and in these situations, there is! You shouldn't keep yourself emotionally invested in a relationship that isn't fully mutual. No matter how much you think you love the other person, love has to be a two-way street.

Step 2: Stop comparing yourself or your partner to others

Everyone has some insecurities. Maybe an ex cheated on you in the past, but that doesn't mean you should project the infidelity of that old partner onto the current one. Or maybe you look at the other people who seem to be interested in your partner, and you think they're more physically attractive or more financially successful. Stop comparing! Your partner is with you for a reason and you must, at least for now, give them the benefit of the doubt that he or she does not want to be with someone else.

Step 3: Know your worth

It makes it easier not to compare when you acknowledge the fact that you have an innate value. Take inventory of your good qualities; qualities that have brought you friends, landed you jobs and attracted members of the opposite sex. The more you know yourself and are aware of your own strengths, the easier it will be to overcome jealousy.

Step 4: Talk with a trusted friend

The best way to work through jealousy is to talk with a close friend. Sometimes a third party is needed to look at the situation objectively. A good friend can help you figure out if you truly have a reason to be jealous, what to do about the situation and whether or not it's simply time to move on.

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