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How to Find Love After Divorce
Divorced? Starting over? Getting back in the game can be hard. But you're not alone. Even though some changes will need to be made, life after divorce doesn't have to be a dark, depressing time. If you keep a few key things in mind, you'll be able to navigate the post-divorce waters successfully. Here are some tips on how to find love after divorce.
Step 1: Move on
After sharing something as intimate as marriage, it will be hard to sever all your ties to that person. And you don't have to. But, if you find yourself talking to your ex on the phone every weekend, you might want to limit your contact with him or her. Unless you have children in common or are trying to work things out and get back together with your ex, it is best to leave the past in the past.
Step 2: Don't be afraid
One temptation many divorcees face is to give in to fear. Clinical psychologist Michael S. Broder, Ph.D., author of The Art Of Living Single, suggests that fear completely overcomes some singles because of past experiences. But rather than play the fearful victim, he recommends divorcees go boldly back into the world. Taking chances and getting out of your comfort zone can only help you grow as a person.
Step 3: Be active
As a single person, you can't sit on your couch and wait for a new love to come knocking on your front door. Get active. Join a club, play co-ed softball or go out dancing with some friends. Not only will you meet new potential mates, but you'll have fun the way you used to when you were younger.
According to Jerald G. Bachman, Ph.D., a social psychologist who conducts studies for the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, about twice as many 18-year-olds get out at least one night a week as do 32-year-olds. Getting out and about will help you get excited about life again.
Step 4: Don't be too anxious
Just because you're going out and meeting people doesn't mean you should dive into a serious relationship with the first guy or gal who asks you out. You should exercise even more caution before you get deeply involved with someone this time around. Also, people can sense it if you want to get too serious too fast, and it might scare them away. If you're really living an active life, you will be less likely to come off as needy.
Step 5: Try online dating
More and more people are trying online dating in the hopes of falling in love after divorce. If handled with caution and common sense, it can be a very safe, controlled method of stepping back into the dating pool. If nothing else, it will help you sort out exactly what it is you're looking for.