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Calculate Your Relationship Compatibility
We’ve all heard that old saying “opposites attract.” Some people take this to heart and look for someone who has interests they don’t share, thinking that this will endear them to each other, and they can learn all kinds of new things. In a small percentage of cases that works, but for the most part, relationships end or have major problems because the two people are incompatible. For a while the new activities and new approach to life is exciting, but more often than not, it becomes a drain on your emotions and relationship when neither of you want to do what the other wants to do.
Knowing ahead of time how to test your relationship compatibility will save you heartache and, let’s be honest, it will save you time. Follow these steps to calculate your relationship compatibility.
Step 1: Consider your spiritual beliefs
Do your spiritual beliefs line up with those of your partner or potential partner? If you are very devout in your faith and are dating someone who is not, or the other way around, you are asking for problems.
According to research conducted by Egon Mayer of Brooklyn College and many other studies, inter-faith marriages have a much higher divorce rate than same-faith marriages. Dating someone thinking you can sway them to the convictions you have is listed on Wikipedia as “Missionary Dating” and often leads to feelings of inadequacy and guilt. In cases where one partner does ultimately convert to the other's faith, Mayer's research indicates that the divorce rates are also above average.
Step 2: Factor in your communication styles
When trying to calculate your relationship compatibility, consider how well each of you communicates. If you like to talk everything out before deciding on a solution, then it might not be the best idea to start a relationship with a person who bottles everything up and refuses to talk about problems and issues.
According to J.M. Gottman, leading researcher in the field of marriage and relationships, a couple's communication patterns — good or bad — can be used to accurately predict relationship survival or divorce 94 percent of the time.
Step 3: Take social drive into account
Do you like to stay in at night and watch a movie, or do you prefer going to a club and dancing the night away? Enjoying the same kind of social activities is extremely important in determining relationship compatibility. Dr. Phil McGraw names common interests as a bond in a relationship that will help keep you together for the long haul.
Step 4: Keep goals in mind
Having and communicating clear goals and expectations early on in your relationship can provide a clearer picture about where you both see yourself going individually and as a couple. If your goals and expectations are similar, your paths are more likely to converge and lead toward a shared future. Divergence of goals, on the other hand, can be used as an early indication that a shared future is unlikely. Knowing what each of you wants in the beginning will help you to calculate your relationship compatibility and avoid the heartache of being in a relationship with someone with whom you are incompatible.
Taking the steps outlined here will go a much longer way to help you determine whether or not your relationship is destined for success than pouring over astrology relationship compatibility charts or other scientifically unproven methods of predicting your compatibility. Spend the time to investigate each of these four areas of relational compatibility — you won't regret it.